Post Purgatory angst Desitel
by otpcreys
Summary: :) hehehe


Pretty much just a story me and another Tumblr roleplayer wrote. Sex at very end, enjoy. Post-Purgatory

Castiel awoke, with a pain so intense he was surprised that his vessel was in one piece. He had no idea where he was. But, really, unlike a human, he always knew where he was, but wasn't sure why. He had to figure out why, and he couldn't put his finger on it. A faint recollection of the Leviathan and Dick Roman was forming in the back of his mind, but everything after was a blur. When a presence around him came to his attention, he turned to the shadows, where he could faintly see someone stirring.

Rolling to his side, Dean opened his eyes slowly, cool air tickling his skin. Awareness began to settle in and he found himself lying in damp grass. Propping on an elbow, he groaned stiffly, a dull ache washing over his body. It was dark here and Dean squinted to see any signs that would tell him where he was, waiting for his eyes to adjust. Throat hoarse, he whispered, "Where the hell…"

Recognition sparked, and Castiel was at Dean's side immediately, scanning his face and body for wounds. Aside from a small cut on his face, he looked relatively unharmed, just worn, as always. Getting on one knee, Cas laid his hand on Dean's shoulder. "Dean…are you alright? What do you remember?"

Dean flinched as someone knelt next to him and raised a hand to defend himself meekly. Pivoting from his spot on the ground, green eyes met with familiar blue ones. "Cas?" He asked, slumping his shoulders in relief. He scrunched his face at his friend's questions, trying to remember. Dean leaned forward to stand up and face the angel. "I'm fine," He turned his face to look behind him, "Not much, I remember Dick. Then this."

"Yes. It makes sense now…Do you have any-_any_- idea where we are?" Castiel muttered , looking up to Dean. He put his hand on his shoulder again, grasping it, not only for balance, but for familiarity. He remembered what Dean had said before, about him letting the Leviathan free. Absently, he wondered if he still held a grudge against him, and he sincerely realized, for the first time, how much it bothered him when Dean was angry.

Something flickered in the corner of Cas' vision, and he instantly shut his mouth, whatever he was going to say leaving him. Behind Dean, stood a beat-up looking Lucifer, who was beaming. He just laughed, stood there in a stomach-holding, metallic laugh. Finally Castiel's hands left Dean, and he raised them to his ears. He couldv'e pulled all of his hair out, the sound was what humans summed up to 'nails on a chalkboard', through speakers.

"I-I'm sorry Dean. I know what I did. I've killed so many people when…when my job is to save. The Leviathan…I let them go. Even if we stopped Roman, or any of them, it's still all on me. And I know how angry you are. Forgive me." Just like that, Lucifer shut his mouth, snapped his fingers, and vanished. Castiel knew the break from the silence was short lived, but he still took it as a blessing.

Looking at the ground, he tried to think about what happened, searching his mind for anything that might help him remember. There was the lab, him stabbing Dick, waking up in Purgatory, then a jumble. Flashes of fighting, panic, fear, blood and a blinding white light assaulted his thoughts but none of it made sense. Dean shook his head at the angel's question. It seemed like they made it back home, but where? Moonlight streaked through the trees surrounding them, crickets filling the quiet night air. Studying his companion, he noticed the angel was looking past him. "Cas? What is it?" Dean spun his head but didn't see anything. When he turned back Castiel, he saw his hands clasped over his ears, face tight with pain. He jumped forward, placing both hands on the angel's shoulders. "Cas! Hey, hey! Look at me, are you okay?"

Castiel began apologizing, relaxing his body and straightening again. Dean's face fell, a mixture or worry and anger. "It's fine, Cas." He replied sternly. Dean was not in the mood to talk about _that_ yet. He patted his jacket and felt something jagged. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a crude knife and inspected it. Confused, he put it back. He could only assume he had it with him in Purgatory. Dean pulled back and began walking in seemingly no particular direction. "C'mon, we need to get someplace safe. Maybe a motel, get cleaned up."

"I-" Castiel couldn't get it out, not when Dean was looking at him like that. "Yeah. Alright. I'm too weak to transport us anywhere. You don't think your Impala is still at Sucrocorp, do you?" He remembers the last he had saw of the other Winchester there, and wondered how long ago it was. Castiel followed Dean, staying a distance back, trying to read the man's body language. It was hard, with Dean and all. Wondering if he was just angry, or if he was _normal._

Lucifer appeared at his side, his footsteps echoing his own. "Ooh, a hotel room together? _Fun._ I'll try to stay_ inside_ your head with my eyes shut for that one."

Castiel ignored him, and opened his mouth to speak, when a flash came back to him. He remembered how he left Dean in Purgatory, not what followed, not what led up, but just the simple act of closing his eyes, and appearing somewhere else. Cas thought about if Dean remembered more than he let on, like with Hell. But then, Castiel knew when he was lying. That was a while ago.

Staying focused on the road, Dean absently listened to Castiel talk to him about stars and constellations and for a moment, he felt at peace. It was like old times, when the angel would just talk so he didn't have to. His eyes narrowed into slits as Castiel reached out to the knob on the dash, the lulling voices of the talk-show hosts getting louder. He let the angel finish his tale, explaining that they were in Texas before adding, "Didn't I ever teach you?" Dean turned to him, pointing a finger, "Driver picks the music. _Shotgun_, that's you, shuts his cake-hole." He brought his hand to the turn-dial and surfed through stations until the familiar strumming of an electric guitar made him stop. A sly smile crept onto his face and he cleared his throat. "Anyway, Texas huh?"

The angel nodded and Dean turned back to the road just in time to spot faded signs for a motel up the road. He chewed on his lip, thankful that luck seemed to be on their side…for now. "Looks like there's a motel ahead, " Dean explained, "Thank God. If I don't find a shower soon, I'm gonna kill something."

Castiel nodded, wondering if he had offended Dean, until he smiled. He bit the inside of his lip as Dean's horrible consideration of 'music' gave his headache a _heartbeat_, and he finally turned the radio off, with such force he made the whole thing shatter. He held the broken button in his hand, gently placing it in a cupholder. "Uh, sorry. I just…"

_"Just what, Cassie? Don't get your panties in a bunch, you'll be to the chlamydia-infested rest-stop soon. You'll be able to get that horrid trenchcoat of yours off in a few."_

Ignoring the blabbering from the backseat, Castiel held his head in his hands, confused, because normally vessels don't cause this kind of pain. The heavy atmosphere of the car weighed on him, and he cleared his throat. "Maybe in the morning I could get you a processed meal. From one of the places with the tile floor and flies." He suggested, smiling a bit as they pulled into the parking lot of a 15-or so room motel.

The radio sparked and the music died away abruptly, causing Dean to jump. "Dude, what the hell?" Dean pouted, hearing the button clink as it hit the plastic in between them. It would have been different if it were his baby, he would have been pissed. Busy concentrating on parking the car, he'd missed the angel's mental lapse, instead he caught Castiel's tease at food. "Holy crap, I can't believe I forgot about burgers." He stated as his brain floated off into the land of grease. Dean rubbed a hand on his mouth and chin to keep from salivating.

"Wait here, I gotta figure something out." He ordered before stepping out of the rusty car. Upon their arrival, Dean realized that they didn't have any money. He'd have to get creative. Walking up to the office, he eyed an ATM off by a dumpster practically screaming to him, 'steal from me' and made off in that direction.

Dean came back several minutes, finding the angel exactly where he left him. Placing a hand on the frame of the permanently open window, he held up a pair of bronze keys, jingling them enthusiastically. "Room 12. Let's go."

Lucifer was on him practically before the door shut, and Castiel was one whisper away from biting his tongue off. He refused to look crazy, muttering to himself, to be crazy. As he watched Dean trot back to the car window, he made a realization, something that hadn't crossed his mind in the last hour-or, for all he knew, 10 years-_ he was stuck with this for all of eternity._ it was literally hell, everyday, and Cas had enough to worry about, without making Dean worry as well.

He gave a weak smirk to Dean and got out of the car quickly, because maybe, just maybe, if he locked the door, Lucifer couldn't follow. That, however wasn't the case, and even when Castiel slammed the door hard enough to fold it accordion-style, the devil was still by his side.

And following Dean to Room 12, all he could concentrate was the arm Lucifer had laid across his shoulder, and his friendly suggestion; that _'Dean had gotten one room, when he could've gotten two.'_

Turning the key, Dean shoved the door with his shoulder. As he stepped into the room, he flicked on the light and plopped on the nearest bed. Rolling his shoulders, he closed his eyes and let his head hang back to face the ceiling. Cracking his neck, he exhaled slowly. "I'm going to shower," He explained before pulling the jagged rock that resembled a knife out his pocket. Dean ran a finger along its edge before setting it down on the mattress next to him.

"Well, we got one knife between the two of us," He observed, stripping off his jacket. As he made his way to the bathroom, he grabbed the remote to the television and tossed it to the angel. "Here, watch some TV." Once inside, he pulled at the hem of his shirt and began to lift it as he shut the door.

Once it clicked, he moved to the tub and turned on the faucet, flipping it to rain from above. The sound of running water was like music to his ears as he stepped in.

The thought of even turning on the TV made Castiel, against his somewhat new-found interest in peace, throw it on the ground. And yet, being stuck in the same room with the same 'man' that drove him insane wasn't exactly idea.

Castiel sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at his hand. The material of his trenchcoat was worn, and dirty, as he took it off and gently laid it on the bed next to him. The past tan color was replaced with a deep brown, with splatters of blood and mud all over it. It bothered him more than it should've.

"Don't be frightened. I just like the sound of the running water." Castiel whispered, as he closed the bathroom door and sat on the cold tile floor. Part of it was true, while the main reason was that he wasn't sure that Lucifer could fit in the small bathroom without having to stand on the toilet.

The hot water was like nothing Dean could describe. He just stood there, letting the water run down his back, tiny beads massaging tense muscle before moving to shampoo his hair. Grabbing the small complimentary bottle, he kneaded the soap into his head, bubbles beginning to mask parts of his skull.

Pausing, he thought he heard the door open and listened, only to be startled by Castiel's voice. Brow furrowing in confusion, he drew back the curtain a little and stuck his face past to find the angel sitting in the middle of the floor. "Cas, what the hell are you doing in here?" Dean looked down and shut the vinyl sheet embarrassed. His friend couldn't see anything but he didn't find any comfort in his nakedness being blocked from view by only a thin plastic sheet. "Dammit, dudes don't hang out in the bathroom with other dudes while they shower!" He explained when he was met with silence.

Dean shut off the faucet and blindly reached for a towel, trying not to expose himself. He felt one being handed to him and pulled it into the tub, wrapping it around his waist. More confident now somewhat clothed, he yanked back the curtain, finding that the angel still hadn't left. Dean spread his hands in bewilderment. "Cas," He said firmly, "Personal space."

"Does my presence make you feel uncomfortable? Why?" Castiel stood, facing Dean. The room was humid, and Dean was wet and almost naked, and it should've made Castiel feel weird but failed to do so.

Castiel put a hand on Dean's chest, over his heart. "I've never quite understood…This does not affect me. It's nothing explicit, just the human body. And yet…you are tense." Drops of water still flowed freely down the man's chest, his body was still warm. Cas' eyes never left Dean's, because, well, he didn't find it odd in the slightest. He loved his friend, and he couldn't quite understand Dean's feelings of reluctance. Because all love is innocent, until you don't _want_ it to be.

Dean cleared his throat, looking down as the angel's palm pressed against his chest. He tried to back up but was stuck, heels hitting the frame of the tub. His heart was beating fast partially from his discomfort at the angel so close, touching his skin, large blue eyes pleading, soft hands, and…_wait, what? NO!_ Dean shook his head frantically. "Cas, we talked about this…" He tried again, spying his t-shirt sprawled over the toilet seat. The angel just kept staring at him and Dean began to grow more nervous than uncomfortable. He swiped quickly at the piece of clothing and furiously shoved his head through the collar, pulling it down to his waist.

He started inching sideways towards the door, hair still dripping wet but Castiel just mirrored his movements, trapping him. Dean narrowed his eyes slightly and sighed, "Can I please put on some pants? Alone?"

Castiel bent over to pick up the pair of jeans that had been thrown on the floor, and handed them to Dean. "Of course. But I think you may want to put on your boxers first, I figure it would be rather uncomfortable not to." Smiling, he shut the door quietly as he exited the bathroom.

_"Well, not exactly how you wanted that to end up, ey? I'm not sure about ol' Winchester in there but the ladies tend to prefer the 'wine and dine' method."_

As he sat next to him, Lucifer went on about the effects of smooth jazz on women, when Cas raised his hand. "It wasn't like that…I just don't understand human emotion. I believe I may have disturbed him."

_"You think?"_ Lucifer quipped as the bathroom door opened, and Castiel jumped to appear as if he hadn't been talking to a figment of his imagination.

As his headache came back, Castiel rubbed his temples furiously. When more heat than relief was supplied, he met eyes with Dean. "You must've been hearing things." He let Lucifer enjoy the irony of the statement, not in the mood to even try to ignore him.

Giving up his plan to take a shower, Castiel let his thoughts roam to other subjects. When he had to hold his hands to keep them from shaking, he had enough.

"What…what…" Cas struggled wording the question, embarrassment flushing his cheeks pink. "What do you think of me, Dean? Because…I'm not sure that I even know what's happening to me.

Grabbing his jeans from the angel, Dean let out an aggravated sigh before pinching his brow together. _Did he just make a joke?_ He watched Castiel leave and shut the door, quickly throwing on the remainder of his outfit. Outside the door, he heard a soft murmuring. _He must be trying to talk to me still_, he thought but didn't move to answer out loud. Looking in the mirror, Dean toweled his hair and discarded the cloth on the floor. His hair stood straight up in wet spikes and he felt better, no longer filthy. Once satisfied with his appearance, Dean heaved the door open, steam rolling out behind him and walked out slowly. He eyed the angel sitting on the bed, who looked a little startled. "Were you saying something?"

"I deserve anything that's happening. Don't be worried." Castiel patted Dean's thigh gingerly. He couldn't even look him in the eyes, but instead stared out the window. It wasn't a sight to see, just plain, black, nothingness, but looking anywhere else wouldn't make what he was about to say any easier.

"After I help you find your brother, I think it would be best if I went away. Maybe live with some butterflies or forest animals. I'm more of a burden than anything to you right now. My mental state isn't something that I want to flaunt around, and I'm on the edge. If I did anything to hurt you-"

He couldn't finish. Even Lucifer was astounded. Castiel had commited decades to the Winchesters, whether they knew it or not. "I'm sorry, I'm scattered. I don't know what I'm going to do. If you want me to stay I will. But…the minute I spiral, I'm counting on you to tell me to go."

Castiel looked shifty and Dean didn't like it. He watched the angel wring his hands repeatedly and his eyes wander ten different directions. Dean lowered his head suspiciously and inched closer to his friend seated on the mattress opposite from the door to their room.

"Well, you can't be any weirder than you were before Purgatory, you know, bees and stuff…" He shook his head lightly, "Cas, are you feeling okay?" Dean's face flashed with concern, tilting his chin up and exposing his neck at the angel.

Dean listened to the angel's confession, stunned into silence. Castiel refused to keep his gaze and turned sad blue eyes out the window.

"Cas, you're not going anywhere. Whatever's going on with you, we do it together." Dean's voice was strong and determined, anger against the Angel's crimes subsiding for the sake of this moment. He couldn't let him leave, he couldn't lose him again.

"No more repeats." He finished, crossing his arms. Dean walked to the door and flipped off the lights, draping the room in darkness. Moonlight illuminated the room, casting shadows across his body.

He crawled into bed silently, one eye on his friend to make sure he didn't flit away. As he pulled the covers up to his chin, he peeked out to Castiel. "I want you to stay."

"If…that's what you wish." Sitting there, in the dark, Castiel had the biggest feeling of filth, the kind you get when your clothes stain the linen. Cas just felt so fucking _gross_, and he had to strip of the grimy clothes.

Jumping from the bed, Castiel stomped to the bathroom, yanking his shirt off as soon as he stepped on the hospital-like floor tile. He flipped the faucet to the hottest it could go and submerged the dirty fabric, able to see layers of dirt dissolve in the steaming water. After he got whatever he could off, he wrung the shirt out and flipped it over the shower pole.

He caught himself in the mirror, the bags under his eyes and the red tint to his eyes frightened him at first, but he came to realize it was just an outward expression of his current mental state. Castiel dragged himself back to the bed Dean was laying in, and joined him, maybe scooting a little closer than needed. The blanket felt good against his chest, and lying there, tired-mentally and physically- and lying next to someone that he loved, he felt so incredibly _**human**_.

Screaming, running, panting, blood, blood, blood everywhere. Dean was running as fast as his legs would carry him through the dark unforgiving forest. He looked behind him, the sound of leaves rustling, twigs snapping and growling, always the growling of a hundred unseen monsters followed in his wake. Then he fell, leg twisting and cracking as he hit the ground. "Cas! Where are you!" He bellowed into the darkness but he knew he wouldn't come. Dean flipped onto his back, red eyes glaring at him from above. Teeth, teeth and more teeth was all he see before feeling pain assaulted his senses and everything went black.

Dean jolted awake, eyes snapping open. He gasped and swallowed hard, shaking his dreams away. It was still dark out, which meant he must not have slept for very long. _Typical_, he thought as he attempted to turn onto his stomach and maybe fall back asleep. He arm felt numb and he noticed that there was someone else in the bed with him. Looking down, Dean made out the wild fragments of Castiel's dark hair sticking out from beneath the covers. The angel was sound asleep on his front, lying on the hunter's chest. Dean's heart stopped, feeling his friend's soft skin over his body. His eyes widened, "What the-" and he tried to shimmy his arm from underneath Castiel.

Lifting the covers, Dean rolled his legs off the side of the bed, taking his arm with him. He looked back from his sitting position to the _completely shirtless_ angel, who continued dozing. He waited a moment to see if he would wake up before quietly making his way over to the other bed when he didn't. Crawling under the blankets, Dean exhaled slowly. "Awkward…" He whispered to himself and ended up just staring at the ceiling instead of getting back to sleep. He glanced back at the other bed and couldn't help but feel guilty, maybe even sad, telling himself that the angel still didn't know better and most likely sought comfort in being physically close with someone. But the idea of laying with Castiel freaked him out. Dean couldn't understand its implications. He needed time to sort out what was going on inside his head.

Between the flashes from Purgatory and his unexplained need to be around Castiel, keep him safe and never let go, Dean knew it was going to drive him nuts. He only hoped it didn't blow up in his face if he did something stupid, which was only a matter of time.

The between place of consciousness and sleep, the limbo in a dream going awry, was where Castiel had been jolted to. Only when Lucifer snapped to his side did Castiel awake, a warm yet empty bed awaiting him.

"Dean?!" Cas jolted to a sitting position, breath caught until he saw Dean's figure on the opposing bed. He let out a sigh of relief, and a slight flush of embarrassment soon after._ Dean had actually felt the need to move to a different bed._

_"Hey, come on back to bed, honey!" _Lucifer called after him as Castiel strode towards the bathroom, picking up his shirt where he had hung it. It was wet, and cold, but Castiel didn't care, really. It took an effort to slide over his head.

Stepping out of the bathroom, Cas tried to decide if Dean was awake or not. In the darkness of the room, he couldn't quite tell. He shook the thought off and grabbed his trenchcoat from the bed, slinging it over his shoulders as he neared the room door. Only one thing stood in his way. Of course.

_"And where do you think we're going? Should I wake up the boy?"_

"No."

_"He told you, he needs you to stay. So don't be an asshole. If you can help that. Just don't be a _stupid_ asshole."_

"He thinks he needs me. What he needs is Sam and Bobby."

_"He loves you."_

"He's used to me. I'm a bit new to this, but I'm not exactly sure if this is love." Castiel swept his hand towards the bed Dean was laying in. "Why…why do you care anyway?"

_"Because I like to be the only person screwing things up for you. Your brain is only allowed to be as messed up as _I_ make it. So stay here and stop complaining. Because if he doesn't love you, at least you love him."_

Laying in the other bed silently, Dean heard Castiel wake. _Crap_, he thought to himself, hoping it wasn't him that woke the angel. He laid there listening, merely pretending to be still asleep as the other man got up and went to the bathroom. Dean peeked an eye out and watched Castiel return with his shirt, still damp and clinging to his lean body. His wrinkled his forehead, interest peaking at the angel's strange behavior. Well, it wasn't really that strange until the angel began talking to himself. Dean instantly scanned the room and saw no one yet Castiel was clearly responding to someone.

Concern racked his brain and he shot up from his make-believe slumber. "Cas?" He asked, stepping out of the bed and walking cautiously towards him. Dean dipped his chin to inspect his friend standing so close to the door. "Who are you talking to?" Looking past him, he noticed Castiel's hand was actually touching the doorknob but hadn't moved it otherwise. Face hardening, he narrowed his eyes angrily, "And where do you think you're going?"

"Hm?" Castiel clenched his jaw, not sure of what to say. "You must've been… dreaming…" His voices faded at the end of the sentence, Dean made it obvious that he wasn't buying it. "Lucifer. Well, not really Lucifer, but the one inside my..head…"

Uncomfortable, Castiel's hand left the doorknob like it was liquid metal. "I'm not going anywhere. Well, to be truthful, I was going to visit Meg," Seeing that subject was a tad tense to Dean, he moved on. "I thought you were angry with me. That's why you, uh…" He nodded softly to the bed Dean had just rolled out of. "It's my fault, I'm sorry. I'm not sure, exactly, what you…and I_ are._ I thought I did, but it seems as if I greatly overestimated."

Eyes softening, he realized he had forgotten that even though Castiel was the one that broke Sam's wall, he was also the one who fixed it. He took on his brother's burden from a century in Hell, leaving him no choice but to ultimately let that go. The angel continued on with his confession and Dean clenched his teeth, jaw locking at the mention of Meg. Although, he relaxed a bit as the angel let go of the door handle. As the angel gestured between the beds, Dean turned back to look back and forth at them as well, mild understanding creeping into his head. "You're leaving be-" He cut himself off as Castiel explained further, saying something about himself and Dean. Him and Dean. Castiel and him. All of his numerous trains of thought stopped dead in its tracks.

"Wait…what?"

Castiel side-stepped past Dean, taking off his coat and folding it. "Like I said, it was an overestimation." He shrugged, glancing out the window again. "I think the word you may use is 'mixed signals'. On your part, anyway. I like to think that I am rather blatant with my affection."

"The voices in my head have been telling me to stay. Lucifer says 'hi'." The look on Dean's face wasn't exactly encouraging, but Castiel went on. "If anything this whole experience has showed me…" He put both hands on Dean's shoulders, smiling brightly. "Is that, isn't love grand? Isn't it absolutely fascinating? Lucifer thinks so. I agree."

"I-You still don't understand?" Cas let go of his shoulders. "You can be_ really_ thick, But it's okay, I don't mind." With the light from the window shining in, Castiel could really see the color of Dean's eyes for the first time, he hadn't been able to appreciate the dark emerald hue since they had woken up.

Sitting on the bed again, Cas patted the spot next to him. "Dean, I think you…really know what's going on. You just don't want to accept it. But why not?" Smiling, he looked back to Dean. "Just tell me. If you can tell me the truth, that you're not reciprocating any of this, and I'll stop. But I don't want you to lie to me."

Dean could see Castiel's mouth moving but didn't hear any of it. He couldn't see past the terms, 'mixed signals' and 'affection'. He was back peddling their conversation in his head, watching the angel's personality suddenly revert to something akin to before they ended up in Purgatory. Dean tried to keep his heart from sinking.

"Cas, wait…affection? What are you talking about?"

Dean hesitated, shifting the weight on his legs, unnerved by the angel's forwardness. Swallowing, he moved to take the seat next to him on the bed, his body remaining frigid. He chewed on his lip, trying his best to understand what Castiel was trying to ask him.

"Cas…I'm not sure what you want me to say," Dean cleared his throat uncomfortably, "I mean, I'm not even sure _what_ I feel."

Nodding slightly, Castiel racked his brain for a way to make Dean understand. "If Sam was raised from purgatory with me, I would be gone by now. He would've let me walk out that door hours ago. But I'm with you, and this is the second time you've asked me to stay with you tonight."

Cas took a long breath and sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel…uncomfortable. You can go back to resting if you wish. You need your slumber." He got up and sat on the other bed, deciding to plea insanity to any of his future feelings towards the hunter.

Dean leaned forward on his elbow, palm over his eyes. "Cas, I don't…" He sighed heavily, propping his other hand on his knee. "Jesus Christ, I can't believe I'm having this conversation." Sitting up straight, Dean rolled his tongue over bottom lip, trying to find words but failing miserably. The hunter was never any good at this. Emotions and talking about his feelings, that was more his brother. Dean struggled internally, he cared about Castiel as much as he did Sam or Bobby but it was different somehow. Despite all the pain, betrayal, and heartache he'd suffered from and delivered the past few years, the stubborn angel kept coming back. For him and only him. Dean only had an inkling what he lay deep in his heart but knew he could never ask for it. Castiel was an Angel of the Lord and deserved so much better than a shotty 'righteous' man who barely stopped the ancient snake creatures from eating the world, let alone the apocalypse.

Growing frustrated, he shot to his feet angrily, moving to kick the bottom of a chair. If Castiel could get upset about mixed signals then so could he. He was getting tired of these endless riddles and apologies. "So _I_ asked you to stay, what's the big deal? And quit freaking apologizing Cas!" Dean shook his head to himself before challenging the angel with a firm glare, "This shouldn't be about me. What do _you_ want Cas?"

Castiel didn't bat an eyelash at Dean's outburst, but instead held steady eye contact, mirroring his glare with a softer one. What _did_ he want? He couldn't think of a single thing, other than picturing the man standing in front of him. The stupid, husky, womanizer that he was assigned to aid against his will. The man who could unleash the apocalypse, put the devil back in his cage, but _never_ admit his feelings of love.

"I want you to stop being such an _ass_, Dean." Cas stood up, but didn't move any closer. "We both know I stayed with you, more than willingly. I wanted to help you, to protect you. I was never ordered by God to…to become this attached to you and your destiny. All I want is for you to tell me that I'm not being childish…wasting my time."

Dean's eyes widened, bright green saucers stunned by the angel's name-calling and agitated voice. _Finally_, he thought as his face fell into chagrin. "I didn't ask for your help, you son of a bitch. I didn't ask to be 'saved'." The hunter's eyes narrowed. "You should have left me in Hell or you should have left me in Purgatory." Dean raised his voice, stepping closer to the angel. "It's less than I deserve, Cas, so yea, maybe you are being childish."

"Dean, I…" Castiel started, but stood his ground. He gritted his teeth, and played Dean's game. "What exactly did you do to deserve _Purgatory_, Dean? We all understand that you're angry," Cas took a step towards the hunter. "But if you want to get shot down, you'll be the one pulling the trigger. Not me, ever. I can promise you that I will never be on the opposite end of that gun."

He kept ahold of Dean's eyes, braving the angry emeralds. "I'd like to see how you'd be doing without me. You'd still be making friendly with Alastair torturing souls. We're all sinners, Dean. But that's no excuse to want to go crawling back."

"You." Dean explained simply, chest beginning to rise and fall faster. The hunter got within inches of the angel's face, eyes compressed to slits. "I deserved Purgatory because of you," Fierce green eyes accosted the angel, his hands balling into fists, "And you should pull the trigger, Cas. I used you, don't you get that? I didn't care about your war with heaven. I didn't want to help you. You were my get of jail free card. If you weren't helping me, you were fucking useless." He spat the last words, never faltering. Dean was now heaving, blinded by anger and frustration. The angel always just took a beating from the hunter and he was sick of it.

If he was going to return any favors, it would be that be taught Castiel to be his own mind and take what he wanted, not what Dean wanted. "I let you become what you did and you should hate me for it. But you don't, you just keep taking it. I'm not worth it you stupid bastard…"

Castiel darted his glare to both of Dean's eyes, looking for any falsity in his words. As soon as he realized that maybe he _was_ telling the truth, that he meant nothing to him, Cas went on the offensive. "Was carrying my coat in the back of your car until I came back 'using me', Dean? What use was I to you after I took on Sam's hallucinations? I'm _useless_ now, do you understand? Unless you want me to rip the roof off of this hell hole, I suggest you find someone new to 'use." His vision started pulsing, the pain from his head radiating. Taking a final step forward, Cas' voice turned into a hoarse whisper.

"You're a liar, Dean. You lie to me, your brother, all of the girls that you have your meaningless relationships with. Either you're lying to me now, or you have been for a year. But honestly, I think you would've left me in that mental hospital if it was the latter."

Dean was positively fuming at the angel's attack. "I needed you to fix Sam. I needed you to undo what _you_ did. And when that bitch Meg called, I thought I could _use_ you to stop the things you let out. And what did that get me, Cas?" He exhaled sharply through his nose, refusing to budge as the angel stepped closer. "A one way ticket to that freakin' crap-hole for rejects and it gets better," Dean's breathe was hot against the angel's face in their intense proximity. He was on the verge of exploding, his verbal lashings wanting desperately to transform into something physical, "You left me. Alone."

Adrenaline surged in his veins, trembling his skin. Dean clenched his teeth, squaring his shoulders and lowered his gaze. "You're a failure, Castiel. And I created you."

Saying nothing at first, Castiel simmered in what had been said. In one move, his fist collided with Dean's jaw, a cracking sound meeting the contact. After he rebounded, the look that Dean had given him made him sick to his stomach. Reeling back, he stumbled to the nearby dresser to hold himself upright. He could've punched him harder. He could've cracked his fucking skull open, how maddeningly he frustrated him, time after time.

"You don't…know what you're t-talking about, Dean." Cas tried to find him in the kaleidoscope image he was seeing, blurs of Dean spinning around with the other duplicated objects that filled his sight. "You sure did one_ hell_ of a job creating me, didn't you? Heads up, Dean. You're a _masterpiece_ yourself."

Dean stumbled backwards, hands flying to his face as he was struck in the jaw. Turning back, he spit blood onto the carpet, lip split and eyes like daggers. The angel leaned against the dresser before continuing his verbal onslaught. To enraged to volley an insult, Dean charged back and shoved Castiel from the furniture, grabbing the lapels of his trench coat.

The hunter pulled back a fist and launched all his strength into a punch, striking the angel on his cheek. His hand jerked back after a sickening crack, surely breaking his fingers. Blood dripped from his knuckles as he nursed it with his other hand.

"Shut up, Castiel." He demanded, hissing the angel's full name. Fist useless, Dean thrust his shoulder into the other's chest and staggered back, planting his feet to prepare for another hit.

Castiel gritted his teeth, involuntarily flinching when Dean smashed his fist into his cheek, It felt like there was a pillow between the blow and his skin, and Castiel realized how unfair a battle between him and Dean would be. He could see that the hunter was still going a hundred miles an hour, analyzing and processing things, like Castiel's slightest body movements, preparing to defend himself.

Taking what couldn't be more than 2 steps, Cas took hold of Dean's shoulders and slammed him into the nearest wall, but was careful not to hit his head on it. It was a miracle Castiel could even pick the right Dean to grab. as there were about 6 in his line of vision, spinning on an axis. "Listen to me, dammit. Don't be stupid. You're going to let me fix your hand, and then you're going to tell me the _truth_, or so help me, your fingers won't be the only things that are broken."

Gasping, Dean lost the air in his lungs as his back crashed into the wall behind him. He coughed, wrapping his good hand around the angel's arm, pulling hard but getting no results as the angel stepped flush to his body to keep him from straining so much. Furious, heat radiated off him, lip trembling in his own twisted sense of self-righteousness. He lowered his chin and stared down defiantly, locked in Castiel's grasp.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Cas!" He bellowed, breathing heavily, cradling his broken hand against his chest. Dean struggled, clawing at the angel's arms and pushing on the angel's shoulders, "What, you gonna throw me back in the pit?" The hunter scowled, turning his head and spitting his blood on the floor next to them. He came back to offer the angel a smug, cocky look. "What're you gonna do, Cas? Hmm?" His face fell flat, ready and wanting for another go. "Let. Me. Go."

"Stop it! You're going to get yourself killed one day with all of this 'pride' bullshit, Dean." Cas leaned Dean even further into the wall, and took a hold of the injured hand he clutched to his chest. He squeezed it, feeling the bones breaking even further, until a soft glow appeared, reshaping the hunter's fingers once again.

The angel almost took his hands off of Dean, when he leaned in, not a centimeter from his ear. "If you want to know what I can do to you Dean, keep pushing me. Something isn't right, up here," He lifted his free hand to his head, tapping his temple. "It's not a question of _what_, but _when_. I will never give you the 'satisfaction' of throwing you back into Hell. There are much better things I can do to you, right _here_."

Dean winced, jaw clenched, as the angel closed his fist around his broken fingers, squeezing. But the pain only lasted moments before a soft glow distracted his gaze, a strange warmth numbing it away until it was perfectly healed. For a second, he forgot his anger, marveling at the little miracle.

Snapping back to reality, Dean suddenly felt Castiel breathing against his ear, stubble scratching lightly against the side of his cheek. Twitching closer to the sound, he fell cold to the gradual change in the angel's voice. The once slow and steady rumble becoming slick with something aloof…and dangerous. "The last time anyone looked at me like that, Cas. I got laid." He mocked, attempting to ease his tensing muscles at the way his _friend_ was looking at him. Creasing his brow, he cant his head in concern behind narrowed eyes, fear very slowly filling the place of white hot rage.

"Get off me, Cas." He tried as the angel threatened him again, eluding to something darker than their previous spout of physical violence. He pushed at Castiel's chest again, hoping to gain some room now with two working hands but still the angel refused to budge. Dean shot the angel an incredulous look when he remained tight in his personal space. "Get. OFF!"

Seeing the fear and distrust in Deans's eyes sent something through Cas. He thought of what seemed like centuries ago, when they could _trust_ each other, Now it was just a shadow of that relationship, Any chance he had in actually learning the truth could be gone.

Still, Castiel held his ground, even when Dean thrashed. He held him a bit tighter, closing his body onto his. He was in control, and dammit if the hunter could tell him otherwise. "Dean, this is the last time I'm asking," He wet his lips, holding Dean's gaze. "Your thoughts aren't roaming, are they?" Cas actually laughed, Dean's panicked glare humoring him. His voice dropped down to a whisper, "I want to know that you haven't…ever thought about _this._ Me holding you like this. I don't want any of that 'unsure feelings', Dean. I want you to be honest with me, one last time."

Dean's eyes flit vicariously to the angel's mouth as Castiel licked his lips. "I-I don't…" The hunter stammered, blinking furiously in a mix of frustration and pointed confusion. Dean slowly released his hands and raised them in a surrendering gesture. The angel was still very close to his face, too close and he started to panic, trapped in a corner.

Becoming defensive at Castiel's accusations, he dipped his chin and hugged tighter to the wall. Dean shook off his oncoming emotional heart attack and continued staring, shutting himself off again. He was not going to have this discussion. He didn't deserve this kind of loyalty and Castiel was an idiot for trying. Dean couldn't even share his feelings with his own brother, let alone an angel of the freaking lord, despite what they'd been through together. "Cas," He warned, swallowing thickly, "Bite me."

Castiel's brow furrowed, and he let go of the hunter, but didn't step back. "I'm assuming that's a figure of speech," He turned towards the door, fully content with the idea of leaving. But, the more he thought it through, the better he realized. He had _nowhere_ to go. Not a single brother to see. The only person he cared about, let alone_ knew,_ was pinned to the wall, in_ fear_ of him.

_"Maybe he meant it literally. I didn't think he'd be the vampy type, but who knows…I had a girlfriend like that, once."_

Ignoring Lucifer, Castiel turned back to Dean. Their noses, so close, brushed together with every breath. He could feel his breath on his face, a mixture of deep woods and stale gum, something Cas was now convinced was his natural scent, filled the air around their faces. "I told you what I want," Cas breathed, his eyes somehow glued to the freckles sprinkling Dean's face. "You."

Dean dropped his hands as Castiel released him, looking a little worse for wear. His button up ruffled and stretched and his good shirt stained with blood from his own cracked lip. The angel turned to move away and Dean tried to take a step forward, almost stumbling into the other man when Castiel seemingly changed his mind, coming right back to stand inches from the hunter. Dean ran a tongue along the front of his teeth, unnerved by the angel's directness. He'd been stunned into silence when Castiel confessed his desire, bright blue eyes studying him as if he were committing every curve and line on the Winchester's face to memory.

"Me?" Dean couldn't begin to fathom what the angel saw in him. He was broken; a killer, a liar, a stubborn jackass, and a terrible friend. Considering the angel's words, Dean laughed softly, "Gee, Cas. You're stupider than I thought." He turned his face away, running a hand through short, spiky hair.

"After everything that I've put you through, you want me. Oh, that's good, Cas. That's real good."

"Misery loves company," Castiel recited, a small, resilient smile winning across his lips. He wanted to step away, to just go lay in the small bed, but there was something magnetic about Dean Winchester.

There was nothing else he could think to say, but so much he wished he could take back. There's an empty feeling, when you confess so much to someone, and yet, nothing results. Nothing's changed, but everything was different.

"When you've lived as long as I have, much worse things have happened. You're not as evil as you give yourself credit for, Dean." It was true, at least in a broad sense. But the apocalypse has only happened once, he had only fallen once, and he had only fallen in love once. "After everything you've put me through, you can't give me an answer. Just say no, Dean. Just say it, and I'll step away."

Dean exhaled loudly, completely baffled on what to do next. The hunter was beginning to finally deflate all thanks to a persistent nerdy little angel in a trench coat. Dean considered the Castiel's words, rubbing a hand on his sleeve. "Cas, I don't even know what I'm saying yes to let alone say no. I mean, _this_," He gestured his hand back and forth between the two of them, "What is that, Cas? What are we? Like a boy and his angel? Two peas from the same fucked up pod? So, if I say no, then you'll leave, never to come back and we're not friends anymore? Is that it?" Dean pinched his eyebrows, hands flailing earnestly in his long-winded rant, "And I say yes, what? What does that mean, that we're, we're suddenly more than fri-" Dean paused in his bluster, face dawning the tall-tell signs of understanding, "Oh."

"I…I wouldn't leave you. I was upset, and confused earlier, Dean. Where would I go?" Cas' face drew into a sarcastic smirk, thinking of him actually going to visit Meg. He pushed that thought out of his mind, having his fill of demons for the moment. "But, I believe that is how human relationships progress. Though, I'm pretty sure we're not exactly normal," He took the hunter's rough, callused hand, for just a moment, and let it go, his fingertips drawing across his hand as his found it's place at his side. "We're both broken. Maybe…we can try to fix eachother?" The angel suggested quietly.

Dean laughed, nodding in agreement, finally just accepting what was happening even he wasn't a hundred percent sure.

"What do we do now?" The hunter asked, gingerly tapping with split lip with two fingers before drawing it back to it still bleeding. "Huh, you know, I forgot how much it sucks to punch an angel." Dean quirked a lip at Castiel, "Thanks for not kicking my ass too bad."

"Now..I assume you need your sleep. And, uh, it's no problem," Cas chuckled in relief, drawing his thumb to Dean's lips, wiping the blood away and easily healing the hunter's mouth. His fingers left his chin slowly, as if falling from grace.

"Don't worry, you can have your own bed, this time. If you wish." The angel finally stepped away from Dean's body, immediately feeling cold without the hunter's warmth. He didn't mention the nightmares, the reason he barely slept. Nor did he mention that he didn't have a single one while lying in bed next to him.

Dean looked straight at the floor. A thousand bells and whistles going off in his head all at once. He'd come too far and too close to actually speaking his mind, feeling as free as he did in Purgatory. The hunter looked from one bed to the other, kicking off his shoes and going to lay down. Dean didn't feel remotely tired at all even after their _ordeal_, heart pumping as he recalled the night's events in his head. But he didn't know what else to do after what happened. He cleared his throat as he lifted the covers and slid inside, "Uh, Cas…you can sleep here…if-if you want." Dean gestured at the empty space next to him with a nod, "Wouldn't be right to make you sleep in the same bed with Sam. He kicks."

Without waiting for a response, Dean laid down and faced the wall before flipping off the lamp. As he hit the soft pillow, his entire body relaxed. Apparently he was really tired, or at least his body was, his mind was inclined to disagree.

Nodding, Cas unbuttoned his still-wet shirt, placing it on a table. He gingerly placed his shoes by the side of the bed, opposite of Dean. Slowly, he laid down an inch or so away from the hunter, who's breathing had slowed, as one's did when trying to fall asleep.

Asleep or not, Castiel softly laid his hand on Dean's bicep, attempting to draw his attention from sleep as his fingertips slowly traced an outline over his sleeve. "When I had you against that wall earlier, and everything I said…it wasn't me. I wouldn't have said that, I mean…I would never harm you on purpose." The angel's voice had dropped to a whisper, the dark surrounding him reminding him of past times, and he felt the need to conceal.

Dean turned around to face Castiel at his coaxing, green eyes dark in the moonlight as it streaked through the cheap blinds, illuminating a side of the angel's face. His smooth, pale skin stole Dean's attention while the angel spoke to him.

He chuckled softly, wily grin sneaking onto his face. "You could've fooled me Cas. At one point, I thought you were gonna eat me." Dean lay on his back and turned briefly to stare at the ceiling. The angel's hand fell away from his shoulder when he moved and Dean found that his skin ached. Nerves screaming to be touched, by an angel no less. He couldn't believe it, this was getting ridiculous. Sighing, he blindly felt around the space between them until he found the slender fingers of the former-Angel-of-the-Lord, tentatively curling the other man's hand into his.

In the darkness, Dean heard Castiel's breath hitch as their fingers became entwined, thumb gently rubbing back and forth. Dean wasn't sure if Castiel knew how much he was panicking inside at his own actions, he certainly was. Nonetheless, he used all his efforts to maintain this facade, that he knew what he wanted and what he was, doing all that for the sake of an angel. He did enough of regrettable things earlier today. Dean knew this and was determined to make up for it.

"I-" Castiel stopped as the hunter slid his fingers between his. He held on to Dean's callused, skilled hands, his failed attempt at forming words saved by the touch. Cas closed his eyes, feeling utterly at peace, and yet, his mind couldn't slow down. He propped himself on his available arm, eyes studying Dean's face, every slope, committing his eyes' exact shade of green to memory.

The angel took his hand from his neck, bringing it to the hunter's face, brushing one of the fallen locks of light brown hair from his forehead. His fingers cascaded lightly down Dean's face, lazily bringing it back to support Cas' head. "I would never," He smiled. "Just…Lucifer's 'party of one' in my mind can get a bit out of hand," His voice drawled, dropping the end of the sentence, as words became unnecessary. Castiel just wanted to be there, _really there_, in the moment. Because the moonlight on the hunter's face distracted him from any words that could be spoken.

"Is he here now? In the room?" Dean's face grew lines of worry. He wasn't sure what would happen between him and the angel if they continued to lay as they were and suddenly became self conscious at the angel's mention of the fallen one. Real or not, it would definitely be awkward.

Castiel swept his eyes across the room, double-checking every shadowed object to make sure it wasn't in fact Lucifer. "No…I believe he's gotten bored of me for the time being," The angel could've laughed at himself, talking like he was _real_. The truth was, he had no idea what was going on, why the hallucinations would stop with Dean. All he knew was, as long as he felt at peace with the hunter, everything would dissipate, and it would just be them.

He turned back to Dean, meeting his eyes instantly. "You don't have to worry," Castiel had subconsciously moved closer to the man, as if he had his own gravitational pull, and even the angel was inclined to be pulled in.

"Oh…that's good," Dean nodded, relaxing his fingers from the others' grip before sliding an arm underneath Castiel's waist and pulling the angel closer to him. He cleared his throat nervously, "Wouldn't want anyone watching…" Dean turned his face away briefly, scrunching his face in embarrassment. _Smooth, Dean_, he internally chastised before coming back to find the angel's face within centimeters of his own, warm breath ghosting the hunter's face. The hunter felt his features go scarlet, heat pooling in his belly. He shifted uncomfortably, eyes dropping to the angel's lips.

Absently, Dean darted a tongue across his bottom lip. "Um…I-I-uh…" He stammered, his mind going blank and beginning to fill with an inexplicable curiosity of what Castiel might taste like. Dean swallowed thickly, leaning forward unconsciously, nose brushing the angel's. "Cas…" He breathed, "Stop me if I'm doing something stupid, okay?"

Laughing, Castiel shook under the hunter's touch. Seeing him like this, flustered, was an odd sight and Cas let himself enjoy it. Dean's once freckled cheeks flushed with red, and the angel decided it was time to put him out of his misery. "Impossible,"

Cas fused his lips with Dean's, all of their body heat mixing together. Just once at first, justa small touch, but he couldn't pull away. An act so simple, just _lips_, but it ignited something in his soul, something stronger than the Leviathan releasing itself from him. He should've been taking it slow, _dammit_, but he couldn't. Suddenly he just couldn't _handle_ himself anymore, his hand finding the back of the hunter's head, his fingers stroking the hair on the back of his neck, smiling faintly when he felt the hunter start to break down.

Dean melted into the angel's kiss, his body slumping against him. The surprised noise from his throat at being kissed, dying away and fading into a low growl. Without thinking, he rocked into the other man's body. Dean felt physically hot, heart pounding up into his brain. The hunter heaved his body upwards, using his thigh to separate the angel's legs and fall between them. _Too many clothes_, he thought mercilessly. He reached up with both hands to pull roughly on Castiel's crooked tie, tearing it from his neck and tossing it carelessly to the floor. Panting, Dean crashed his mouth back on the angel's, tongue pushing through his lips, forcing the other to open his, quickly swirling and licking the soft flesh inside. Suddenly, he pulled back, breath heavy, propping himself on two arms. The hunter abruptly realized what he doing and who was with. He felt guilty, Castiel was still a virgin and Dean had never done this with a man before.

"Holy shit Cas…I-I, this…I'm not sure I know what I'm doing. Do…you wanna keep going?"

Cas' whole body was on fire, possessed by nothing but _lust_, an emotion, until now, that had been foreign to him. The friction of his lips, neck, and groin were dominating him, and every fingertip that the hunter laid on his skin was like an electric shock. He gulped for air as they parted bodies, and his reluctance just fueled the angel's need to be felt.

"You're Dean Winchester. I'm sure you know what you're doing." Castiel grabbed the cotton collar of Dean's t-shirt, pulling him back ontop of his own shaking body. He was done with it all, being an innocent angel, any pledge he had made to God abandoned as he was. The taste of the hunter was intoxicating, he could feel every word that he had ever spat at him, and it felt so good. Impatiently, Cas slid Dean's shirt off, flipping it off the side of the bed. He had nothing else to clench as the hunter's skin crashed against his own, so he resorted to roaming his hands freely over the other's whole body, taking handfuls of hair in one hand, and gripping Dean's bicep in the other.

At the angel's pleading look, blue eyes blown and desperate, Dean lost it. Curling his fingers alongside the collar of the white woven, the hunter thread his fingers inside before jerking downwards. Buttons flying, Dean tore open the thin piece of clothing to expose Castiel's chest, creamy pale skin hypnotizing the elder Winchester in the streaks of moonlight.

Dean ran a hand down the angel's stomach, past his waistline, pausing momentarily to smooth his palm inside the curve of Castiel's thigh. He felt the angel's cock throb as he made a pass, driving Dean to eagerly tear at the zipper of his black slacks. "Off. Get these off." Dean ordered between gasps, leaning his weight to one side, helping Castiel roll his pants down his legs and to the floor with a quiet thud.

The hunter could barely control himself, rolling his hips into the angel, shoulders arching. He leaned down to press his mouth back onto Castiel's, nipping and licking the others' lips as if were made of honey. Dean grabbed the back of the angel's hair, dark long locks wrapped within his grasp, pulling it back to give him access to the unforgiving muscles of his neck.

Castiel's fingers played in the hunter's short hair, gripping even harder when he went down on his neck. Every single tissue underneath his skin wreaked havoc, wanting _more_. He finally had it, grabbing Dean by the shoulders and propelling him towards the headboard.

He had him now, every single inch of his body laid out in front of him, and he really was a _masterpiece_. The angel's hands found Dean's collarbones, lightly tracing the outline of the skin before putting his lips to it. He stayed there, letting his tongue memorize every detail of the hunter's skin. Castiel couldn't handle himself, his fingers running down Dean's stomach, feeling every rise and fall of his chest and each muscle, working in harmony.

The angel finally reached the waistband of Dean's boxers, peeking out underneath his jeans. Cas roughly pulled them down, revealing a tent in the hunter's boxers. He kept his finger on the elastic, teasing and running his hands along it, until he hooked his finger into the fabric. His chin met the side of Dean's again, mirroring their fight earlier. Castiel's voice was drawn, and slow, taking it's time, getting a feel for the surroundings of the hunter's skin. "Tell me, Dean…do you deserve to be saved?"

At the angel's pleading look, blue eyes blown and desperate, Dean lost it. Curling his fingers alongside the collar of the white woven, the hunter thread his fingers inside before jerking downwards. Buttons flying, Dean tore open the thin piece of clothing to expose Castiel's chest, creamy pale skin hypnotizing the elder Winchester in the streaks of moonlight.

Dean ran a hand down the angel's stomach, past his waistline, pausing momentarily to smooth his palm inside the curve of Castiel's thigh. He felt the angel's cock throb as he made a pass, driving Dean to eagerly tear at the zipper of his black slacks. "Off. Get these off." Dean ordered between gasps, leaning his weight to one side, helping Castiel roll his pants down his legs and to the floor with a quiet thud.

The hunter could barely control himself, rolling his hips into the angel, shoulders arching. He leaned down to press his mouth back onto Castiel's, nipping and licking the others' lips as if were made of honey. Dean grabbed the back of the angel's hair, dark long locks wrapped within his grasp, pulling it back to give him access to the unforgiving muscles of his neck.

Castiel's fingers played in the hunter's short hair, gripping even harder when he went down on his neck. Every single tissue underneath his skin wreaked havoc, wanting _more_. He finally had it, grabbing Dean by the shoulders and propelling him towards the headboard.

He had him now, every single inch of his body laid out in front of him, and he really was a _masterpiece_. The angel's hands found Dean's collarbones, lightly tracing the outline of the skin before putting his lips to it. He stayed there, letting his tongue memorize every detail of the hunter's skin. Castiel couldn't handle himself, his fingers running down Dean's stomach, feeling every rise and fall of his chest and each muscle, working in harmony.

The angel finally reached the waistband of Dean's boxers, peeking out underneath his jeans. Cas roughly pulled them down, revealing a tent in the hunter's boxers. He kept his finger on the elastic, teasing and running his hands along it, until he hooked his finger into the fabric. His chin met the side of Dean's again, mirroring their fight earlier. Castiel's voice was drawn, and slow, taking it's time, getting a feel for the surroundings of the hunter's skin. "Tell me, Dean…do you deserve to be saved?"

Something stirred deep within the hunter as the angel whispered into his ear, his heart pounded, pumping blood straight down and Dean's capacity for reason shut down. His mind abandoned all doubt and replaced it with frenzied _need_. It was primal, desperate and purely carnal. A rough growl erupted from his throat as Dean ripped the cotton fabric below Castiel's waist before pushing forward, shoulders pinning the angel on his back to shimmy out of his own boxers and then slamming back between the angel's legs.

Dean kept one hand in Castiel's hair, locking him flush against the bed as he slipped a hand between their bodies to wrap his fingers around the angel's cock, giving it a rough tug before pumping. Dean buried his face in the angel's neck, lips roaming, biting, claiming. _minemineMINE_ The hunter scrambled forward, shifting with his knees to lift and spread Castiel's thighs. "Fu-uck, Cas, yes, oh God, yes…" He finally answered, gasping, dick falling home between Castiel's cheeks, pre-cum slicking the soft stretch of skin below his entrance.

Moving his head over the other man's, Dean stared at the angel's face, pupils blown, trying to concentrate on remembering the way Castiel looked underneath him, absolutely wrecked, cheekbones tinged pink. He moaned loudly, grinding and pumping harder, faster, before sinking his tongue back into the angel's mouth.

The angel's thought process completely exploded as his whole body shrunk, clenching the bedsheets in pain. The transition from pain to pleasure was almost immediate, and _God_. His hands met the back of Dean's head, wanting to pull him in even farther, but settled for the taste of the man's lips on his own.

Castiel's nails dug into the back of the hunter's back, clutching to his hot skin to keep the unearthly sounds from coming out of his mouth. The angel felt his heart skip beats, then stop beating all together at points, wondering if this, _this_ was the peak of his humanity. His teeth pulled at Dean's lips, unforgivably mustering out moans into the hunter. In the haze that he was being put through, Cas managed to flip the Winchester, finding himself breathing heavily onto the other.

"Dominance…is not a game you want to play with me," The angel whispered in between pants, fronting that he had control. Because, really, he did. _Dammit_ if he didn't, his body was the one disagreeing with him, his mind failing to keep up the pace. Even with his insane God complex, he found himself sliding down to Dean's hips, ready and willing to swallow the hunter's length-a point he found himself at a lot, metaphorically. "I want you to show me that you _want_ it," He choked out, past the point of articulateness.

Dean could barely suppress a whimper as the unforgiving heat wrapping his cock tore from him, finding himself on his back, looking up at the angel. Eyes pleading, he stared down at the angel now looming over him, hair sticking up wildly and face flushed. Dean was in awe, Castiel was _fucking beautiful_.

Physically aching, the hunter grasped and clawed at both the soft cloth beneath him and the slender expanse of the angel's arms, muscles tensing with longing. "Cas, please…" He whispered, voice stretched thin as he begged, giving fuck-all about what he sounded like as he watched the angel slide his body below his waist, pink lips teasing as they spoke so close to his weeping cock.

"You…need…me." Castiel smirked, wondering why his question came as a statement. The utter dependency in Dean's voice made his heart sky-rocket, and he had no other choice than to make him _moan._ In a slow, taunting motion, the angel fit around Dean's mouth, teeth lightly tracing over cock as he bobbed up and down.

The only distraction from the hunter's erection were his lips, which Cas got up to lick, and _feel_, before returning to the elder Winchester's core. Finally, he _had_ to be in him, seeing no other choice in his hot daze. His fingers moved to Dean's face, letting his lips roam the terrain of the hunter's facial features, bathing in his warmth. "This…is going to hurt," The angel whispered, before turning Dean onto his stomach, forcing him onto his knees. He laid one more solid kiss on his shoulder, teasing before sliding in.

Blind panic flashed across Dean's freckled features as he found himself suddenly on his stomach, barely hearing the angel's warning before pain erupted from behind him. The hunter's mouth fell open, a yelp of discomfort resounding from his lips until Castiel's impatient thrusting struck its mark, prostate sending waves of pleasure up his spine and trembling his skin.

"Cas!" Dean bellowed, dragging out the angel's name as spots blurred his vision. He wrenched his fingers deep into the sheets, chin locked to his shoulder while he clenched his teeth. The hunter panted, falling against the bed as the angel rammed his cock home, thoughts screwed up at hearing the sounds at his back, _ohgodthesound_s. "F-uck." Dean scraped out, a mix of pleasure and pain wrought in his voice. He could hear Castiel, claiming, wanting, _loving_ him. The hunter could barely handle it anymore, red dick throbbing relentlessly, friction crippling him from being trapped between his stomach and the soft mattress.

"Cas, please, yes…"

Castiel's hold on Dean's shoulder tightened, nearly breaking skin as his vision flashed white and he lost control of his body. The knots inside of him tightened, then fell apart all together as he released himself inside of the hunter, moaning his way through the ride. It was…_invigorating,_ like he was being exorcised, and in a way, he was. He no longer had to hold it all to his imagination, and that was _unspeakable._

__"I-I…_Dean,_" The angel breathed, flipping Dean over, feeling his face, all of his flushed features. He couldn't stop kissing him, his climax not ending his need for the hunter. He smoothed down Dean's tufts of hair, gulping, swallowing down his own need. Cas knew that he should've gone on, but he couldn't force himself to. "I…I love you,"


End file.
